April 20

I feel sick inside. Not sick like for a doctor, but inside my chest it feels empty like getting punched and a heartburn at the same time. I wasn't going to write about it, but I guess I got to, because its important. Today was the first time I ever stayed home from work.
Last night Joe Carp and Frank Reilly invited me to a party. There were lots of girls and some men from the factory. I remem- bered how sick I got last time I drank too much, so I told Joe I didn't want anything to drink. He gave me a plain coke instead.
We had a lot of fun for a while. Joe said I should dance with Ellen and she would teach me the steps. I fell a few times and I couldn't understand why because no one else was dancing besides Ellen and me. And all the time I was tripping because somebody's foot was always sticking out.
Then when I got up I saw the look on Joe's face and it gave me a funny feeling in my stomack. "He's a scream," one of the girls said. Everybody was laughing.
"Look at him. He's blushing. Charlie is blushing."
"Hey, Ellen, what'd you do to Charlie? I never saw him act like that before."
I didn't know what to do or where to turn. Everyone was looking at me and laughing and I felt naked. I wanted to hide. I ran outside and I threw up. Then I walked home. It's a funny thing I never knew that Joe and Frank and the others liked to have me around all the time to make fun of me. ***Now I know what it means when they say "to pull a Charlie Gordon."
I'm ashamed.